May 21, 1906

ANOTHER REASON TO THINK TWICE ABOUT TAKING THOSE BALLROOM-DANCING LESSONS: Shocking news arrives from Vienna. It turns out the famous dancer Rosario Guerrero is in an asylum. The alleged cause of her insanity? "Excessive dancing." People here might remember her American debut at the Lyric Theater in New York in November 1903. She gave a pantomine titled "The Rose and the Dagger." Evidently it was always a pretty good idea not to follow her too closely. When she moved from Paris to Vienna, three young noblemen followed her. One committed suicide. The other two died in a duel. The report says,"She even rises in the middle of the night to dance until she falls exhausted on the floor."

A NICE GAME OF SUNDAY BASEBRAWL: Teams from the Ohio towns of Mansfield and Sharon squared off yesterday, which was Sunday. About 2,000 people watched. So did Constable Buck and Deptuy Harris. Once the game began, they strolled onto the field with warrants, intending to arrest the players for playing on a Sunday. The fans stormed the field, grabbed the officers and "beat and cuffed and jeered them." Then, "The officers escaped under police protection." (Huh?) The crowd then turned its attention on the judge who had issued the warrants. The judge, evidently without police protection, was surrounded as he sat in his buggy. The crowd removed the wheels from the carriage. That meant the judge got an intentional walk.

May 20, 1906 (Sunday)

SIZE MATTERS; The largest passenger ship in the world, Kaiserin Auguste Victoria of the Hamburg-America line, landed yesterday in NY. It was her maiden voyage. The ship is about 700 feet long. She was not built for speed., Comfort, rather, was the point. That's why it had a dining room inspired by the Ritz Carlton (right). The maiden voyage had a probloem. Just before it sailed from Hamburg, a huge fight broke out among the crew. One was killed. Nine were hurt badly. The tussle was related to lingering disputes over a strike.

OF MICE AND SUBMARINE MEN: Some of today's editions included an item about the valuable service white mice play on British submarines. Each boat has the animals on board because even the slightest gas leak will cause them some discomfort and they will squeak -- serving the purpose of being an alarm to the crew, who will head for some fresh air. The sensitivity to gas means the mice would be horribly squawky in Parliament.

BEDDE SYDE MANORS: There's a big change afoot in the royal household in Britain, evidently. Whereas Queen Victoria (right) was a stickler for maitaining tradition, King Edward might be loosening things up a bit. There's a report in the papers today, by "special cable" from London that the old rules for royal bed-making may be on the way out. Here's a section of the instructions that used to be posted as a guideline for making the sovereign's bed. (I'm picking it up in the middle of the instructions, so DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME):
....Then shall squyers of ye bodye laye handes thereon and laye it streight upon ye bedde without any wrinkles and ye sheets in samewise. Then take bothe sheetes and fustian by ye bordure and put them in under ye fether bedde at both ye sydes and at ye feete also. Then laye on ye over sheetes and go to ye bedde's head and shake down ye bedde.....
You don't even want to know what they do with the holy water!
Rewards await, the bed makers, however, because "all that were at ye making of ye bedde muste have bred and ale and wyn." It might just be me, but do you get the feeling that American newspaper readers are being snookered?

May 19, 1906 (Saturday)

CARRYING NO STICK BUT SPEAKING UN-SOFTLY: Sen. Isidor Rayner is the latest politician to take a big stick to President Teddy Roosevelt. Rayner, from Maryland, says TR flip-flops on his positions on the railroad-rate bill (which I don't understand, either). Rayner's comments impressed the Atlanta Constitution so much that the editors put this drawing (left) on today's front page. He looks like he's either trying to give the bunt sign to a batter or doing a bad job trying to do a flash-in-the-pan dance of the future. Anyway, last month's eruption of Vesuvius and earthquake in San Francisco provide some backdrop for Rayner's comments on the president. Let's call this our Quote of the Day:
This is a great era for natural disturbances, and the president seems jealous of the earthquakes and volcanoes. He goes tearing through space oblivious of where he came from and with no conception of where he is going.

DEATH OF A MARKSMAN WHO WAS WAY OFF THE MARK: Former Confederate soldier Peter E. Miller died of tuberculosis today at his home near Findlay, Ohio. He was 66. He was one of those Southern sharpshooters who were REAL GOOD at a REAL BAD time. They were the ones who shot General Stonewall Jackson (right) at about 9 p.m. one May night in 1863. They thought he was part of a federal detachment. One news account says Miller thought it was his bullet that killed Jackson. That might be a bit of a stretch. But his was evidently one of three bullets that hit the general.

HAPPY 275th: The Chelsea Ferry Company celebrated 275 years of service yesterday. The company, formed in 1631, is believed to be the oldest business in the country. It runs three ferries between Chelsea and Boston. To mark the day, receipts from the ferries yesterday were presented to the Rufus S. Frost Hospital. Frost was in the U.S. House of Representatives in 1875-76 from the 8th district of Massachusetts, a fairly famous district.

May 18, 1906 (Friday)

PREACHERS AND THE PRESS: Speaking at the evening session of the general council of the Reformed Episcopal Church in Philadelphia, Bishop Samuel Fallows (left) said sermon-writers could learn something from news writers. The bishop said (and this is a paraphrase) that "the press in some respects had superseded the pulpit and now exercises many of the functions which the pulpit has lost." No, he wasn't caught up with the fire-and-brimstone coverage of the San Francisco earthquake of April. He seemed to be talking yesterday about the manner in which information is communicated. Here's how he was quoted in an article this morning:
The preacher of today can learn many valuable lessons from the modern newspaper. He should emulate it and catch its style. The ideal newspaper articles are sharp, short, pungent and to the point. The sermon should have all of these characteristics.

MRS. DAVIS RALLIES: The first lady of the Confederacy, Varina (Mrs. Jefferson) Davis (left), is fighting for her life in Manhattan at the Hotel Girard, a far cry from the Davis' Beauvoir home. She turned 80 recently. After being given some oxygen yesterday morning, she improved. Her daughter and grandchildren, one of whom -- Jefferson Hayes Davis is a student at Princeton -- are at her side almost constantly.


VALET PARKING WITH A TWIST: Automobile manufacturer J.H. Clarke, pulled over his car on Broadway, near 42nd street early today. He stepped into a nearby restaurant. While he was inside, somebody jumped into his automobile and started it up. Clarke heard the puffing and raced outside, only to see the car drive off. This is a problem. For one thing the auto is worth an incredible $10,000. To make matters worse, Clarke had left $2.4 million in bonds, scrip and valuable papers in the car, too. Somebody should invent a way to get food from a restaurant without having to get out of your automobile. Now, that's a $2.4 million idea waiting to happen.

ANOTHER LYNCHING: Last night, a mob got into the jail at Inverness in Citrus County, Florida, got ahold of the keys from the jailer and pulled Frank Jordan from his cell. Jordan, a negro, was in jail facing charges of robbing and killing a white peddler two weeks ago. The mob hung Jordan from a tree. One news article ends with a curious sentence: The body was not mutilated in any way. Hmmm. And that's supposed to reflect well on the lynchers?

May 17, 1906 (Thursday)

SENATOR KNOCKS PAPERS: The Atlanta Constitution goes right to the point with its front-page presentation of a conflict that's brewing in Congress. Sen. Joseph W. Bailey (left) of Texas has essentially called President Roosevelt a liar. He is furious about a couple of articles that have appeared in newspapers in Chicago and New York that, he says, misrepresent his efforts regarding the railroad rate bill. He said the correspondents writing the articles are simply doing Roosevelt's bidding. He said, I state that the two chief cuckoos of this administration are the correspondents of The New York Tribune and The Chicago Tribune. And therefore it seems to me conclusive that this slander proceeds from the White House. I hope for the honor of my country that it does not proceed from the President himself. He has challenged Roosevelt. He better have a fairly clean closet. Wonder how his career will turn out.


NOTHING TO DREAD BUT DREAD ITSELF: The huge Navy appropriations bill includes money for a new battleship. Politicians want it to be the biggest one in the world, wanting to trump Britain's Dreadnought, (above) which was launched in February. The House Minority Leader, whom I think is John Sharp Williams (right), light-heartedly proposed an amendment to name it "Skeerd o' Nothing." I think he's from Mississippi.

FERRY GOOD JOB, CAPTAIN: I hope the new battleship will float better than the ferry Baltimore. It sank last night at the slip at the Desbrosses Street docks in Manhattan. The captain is to be praised. The double-decker ferry collided with a ship in the middle of the North River. The captain ordered full speed ahead and zipped into the slip. By the time all 150 passengers and horses had gotten off, the ship sank at the dock.

May 16, 1906 (Wednesday)

IT TAKES A LOT TO REPEL A BUSINESSMAN: Here's a great illustration that goes with an advertisement for something called Cascaret. The ad appeared in today's Atlanta Constitution. Cascaret is something to take "When You have a Bad Breath." (That heading implies that bad breath is singular, but it usually surfaces in a series of breaths.) The afflicted man in the middle repels the titans of business, who are doing a little gag-and-flee routine. I like the subtlety. That's the hindquarters of a little dog that's heading off the frame in the lower left of the drawing. Even a dog can't stand this man's breath. Cascarets was made by the Sterling Remedy Company. That's the outfit that, I think, made No-To-Bac, designed to cure someone of a craving for cigarettes. An artist named Maxfield Parrish made a drawing for that product in the 1890s. That would be a neat item to buy.

FALLOUT FROM 'FRISCO: Actuaries usually traffic in numbers. Miles M. Dawson, of the New York Legislative Insurance Investigating Committee, made an impression yesterday with his words. While testifying regarding the status of insurance vis-a-vis the San Franciso earthquake and fire, he said, There is not a fire insurance company in this country that knows whether it will be solvent or not when it pays its San Francisco losses. This "somewhat startled" the members of the House Committee on the Judiciary. He then explained what happened to U.S. insurance companies after the great Chicago fire. It wasn't pretty.

TUMULT IN ATLANTA: The Atlanta paper roils with news about the hunt for, and death of, James H. Clark. He was a "love-crazed, whisky-maddened telegraph operator" from Chamblee, Ga. A posse of 200 tracked him down until Clark shot himself. This was after he killed one man and wounded five others. The first sentence of the article, by Gordon Noel Hurtel, sums it up: Foiled in his lovemaking with a 14-year-old girl, with his brain weakened by recent illness and with his imagination fired by whisky, James H. Clark, night operator at Chamblee, shot and killed one man and wounded five other persons Monday night and early yesterday morning. That's right -- a 14-year-old girl. The paper names her (Nellie Gay) and prints a picture of her, among classmates. There's also a group picture of many of the helpful men who tracked down Clark.


YOU PROVIDE THE ENDING TO THIS JOKE: The Birmingham Post recently printed this little item, which was then reprinted in the Syracuse paper today:
One day a husband returned from a short business trip and found his recent bride crying.
"Oh, George," she blubbered, "such a dreadful thing has happened. I made you a beautiful pie all by myself, and Fido went and ate it."
"Well, never mind, my dear," he said cheerfully. "We can easily buy another dog."
OK, now. What's a good next line?????

May 15 1906 (Tuesday)

A RIDDLE FOR BRITAIN TO PONDER: One of India's great princes, Maharaja Gaekwar of Baroda is in New York City. He had an interesting exchange with journalists. Here's how it was captured in a news article:
In reply to a question as to whether Great Britain ever interfered with him, he said, "It is simply a case of a brass vessel and an earthen pot and affairs must be so regulated that they don't break."
What does the earthen pot represent? inquired one of the newspaper men.
"Why the weaker power," the Prince quickly replied. And then he broke into a heavy laugh.
One headline writer was attracted by that exchange. The result: "compares England and India to Earthen and Brass Pots, but Refuses to Say Which Is Which."

THEY WON'T NEED INTRODUCTIONS IN THIS COURT CASE: I hope I can get this straight.... There's a court case coming up in Gainesville, Ga. It seems that the superintendent of schools, Professor Garner, has been charged with assaulting a 10-year-old, Harvey Brittain Craig. Forty school children have been subpoenaed for this. Now, the prosecutor is W.H. Craig, who happens to be the FATHER of the assaulted boy. Craig is also the editor and manager of The Gainesville Eagle newspaper. The judge is secretary and treasurer of the city school board. The prosecuting attorney is a member of the school board and Professor Garner's lawyer is Col. H.H. Dean, who is president of the Eagle Publishing Co., which owns the paper that W.H. Craig edits and manages. Maybe this should just go to the 1906 equivalent of Judge Judy.


A FOND FAREWELL: We've known for a couple of days that journalist and politician Carl Schurz was ill. Well he died at about 4:30 a.m. yesterday. He was a well-known publicist and Cabinet member (Dept. of Interior under Rutherford Hayes). He died in his New York home due to "a complication of diseases following an attack of stomach trouble." His son, Carl L, and daughters Marianne and Agatha were present with him. So, too was his business partner, Edward Pretorius. I hope he's remembered for his interest in the outdoors.