Nov. 1, 1907 (Friday)

HEIRS OF WASHINGTON SEND A TREMOR THROUGH THE OHIO VALLEY: Cincinnati residents have been put on notice. Some heirs of GEORGE WASHINGTON have re-examined the will of the First President and are prepared to demand about 10,000 ACRES in the Ohio Valley. That land includes the current city of Cincinnati. According to today's New York Times, Washington recognized the value of the land by writing in his will, "This tract was taken up by Gen. Lewis and myself on account of the bituminous spring which it contains, of so inflammable a nature as to burn as freely as spirits and is nearly as difficult to extinguish."
The immediate heirs did not appreciate Washington's analysis of the importance of the land and sat by as titles went to others. The fact that more than 100 years has passed does not daunt the heirs. They have hired Robert E Lee, the grandson of the Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee. They will begin proceedings to either regain title to the land or gain a proper amount of cash.

PITTSBURG(H) EDUCATORS TO PUT BAD STUDENTS UNDER THE KNIFE: Health officials connected to the Pittsburg(h), Pa., schools plan to get involved to help administrators deal with "backward pupils," according to today's New York Times. The paper says,
It is planned to have physicians perform OPERATIONS ON PUPILS who are behind in their lessons and whose deficiency is found to be caused by physical ailments.
The article is not clear about the types of physical ailments that might be causing such "backwardness." If it works in Pittsburg, citizens will likely ask that the HEAD OPERATIONS be expanded to CONGRESS.

Oct. 31, 1907 (Thursday)

CHAMPION LONG-DISTANCE WALKER DRAWS CLOSER TO BOSTON: Boston is abuzz about the anticipated arrival of Edward Payson Weston (above), one of the truly remarkable WALKERS of all time. He's making his way on foot from PORTLAND, Maine, to CHICAGO, Ill. (anything to avoid the airport delays, huh?). Yesterday, he walked 56 miles from Kennebunk, Maine, to Newburyport, Mass. About 200 people joined him on his final leg from Salisbury. Another 3,000 PEOPLE were waiting for him at Wolfe tavern. His heel-and-toe traveling is chronicled in today's Globe, which forecasts today's schedule (arrive at Ipswich by 9 a.m., Beverly by 11:30 a.m., Salem by 2 p.m., Chelsea by 6 p.m., Charlestown by 7 p.m. -- intending to reach Dedham shortly after midnight.

DANGERS OF FOOTBALL INSPIRE A LAWSUIT: A lawyer in Kankakee, Ill., is so disgusted with the sport of FOOTBALL that he has filed a suit in circuit cout to secure an injunction that prevents high schoolers from playing the game. According to the report in today's Boston Globe, S.R. Moore ways the school superintendent and principal have essentially "aided and abetted prize fighting" through their support of the sport. He points out that football leaves players injured and demoralizes the student body; that players USE PROFANITY on the field, and that the game is "degrading, un-American, un-Christian and uncivilized."